I’m lightly caffeinated this morning, the day after a wedding, I might add. This morning I had coffee, most mornings it’s English tea, if that tells you anything. Woke up with a headache too, and found a thousand too many aphids sucking the life out of my garden. Well, aphids sprayed, coffee digesting, and headache mostly gone, here I sit, near my kitchen window, typing away furiously on my iPad.
An aside, I never had a use for the iPad, always thought they were an awesome idea, but me personally never had a need. I’ve changed my mind, you will have to pry my iPad Pro 10.5” from my cold, dead, hands. I prefer the e-mail experience, Facebook, and video editing on it. Of course, I still use my desktop for Image Editing, but… if they make a full version of Capture One for iOS, I might be tempted… maybe.
Lateness! Right, that’s what I meant to talk about today. It’s a common theme at weddings, as you hear the cacauphony of people saying with no small amount of glibness, “Well, they won’t start without the bride or groom!”. Wrong. I can name at least three places that WILL start without you if you are late. How can they? Easy, you signed a contract for a time at that place, and… they are fulfilling that contract.
For many years people have been doing this thing called a Rehearsal a day or so prior to the wedding, and for the same amount of time, bridal parties have been showing up late to them. This, and for the simple reason that the photos rarely get used are part of the reason I pretty much refuse to shoot Rehearsals.
Even in the real world, we see lateness in epidemic proportions. It seems that time means little to everyone. No, not everyone, only those that are chronically late. To those of us who are habitually on time, or, dare I say… early, it’s infuriating.
Why does this “grind my gears” so much?
Glad you asked.
When you are scheduled to be somewhere, do something, or otherwise have an appointment with another person or persons and you are late, here is a list of things that it says about you and how it would make me feel. I am certain I’m not alone here.
- You feel indifferent to my time, in fact, you probably didn’t even consider me in the equation at all.
- You don’t give a crap that I’m waiting for you.
- Even if you give an excuse, I won’t “let it go”.
- If you are habitually late, it’s just as easy to be habitually on time, therefore you are choosing to be late, thereby showing an incredible amount of disrespect to those you are meeting.
- Do you keep a job? I can’t imagine being late all the time working out in your favor. If you can do it there, why is any other appointment less important and worthy of your timely attention?
- It’s all about you, or you think it’s cute to be late. It’s not. It’s rude, annoying and inconsiderate.
- Wedding Specific: You are wasting money. If I have to stand there and wait for your hair/makeup person to finish when they should have been done an hour ago, or… it takes you more than 15 minutes to get dressed, you are costing yourself money. Sadly, most professionals won’t say much about this and “in the moment”, we don’t want to upset anyone. So, we try really hard to make up the time somewhere else because if we “don’t get the shot”, you will only remember what we didn’t get, not that you were 2 hours late and that’s why it wasn’t done.
So, in my mind, being late is essentially saying, “I care more about my time than I care about yours.”. Now, everyone is late from time to time due to circumstances beyond their control, I’m speaking about “habitual lateness”, those people who are known to be late all the time.
It’s rude, just stop it. When people have to consider your “late trait” in dealings with you, there is a problem, and it’s you. Be responsible for at least that, and stick to your word. If you say you will be there at a certain time, show some respect for your co-worker, family or friend that you’re meeting and BE ON TIME. They will love you for it.
Have a great Sunday, and remember, if you have dinner plans, try to be on time?